Meet The Clown Doctors
Doctor Melanie Mughugger was born in a shoe. After swallowing many flies like her dear old mother, and realising that eating spiders, cats and dogs to help catch the flies was not a good idea, she went out into the big wild world in search of more delicious snacks. Her favourite hobbies include snail-racing, sprout-throwing and jelly-wibbling. She can often be found hanging out of the top of bus windows, yodelling at the top of her voice!
Doctor Johan Cherrywolf, or Jonah to his mother, comes from a family of wrestlers called the Von Wolfe’s. He was set to follow in his family’s footsteps, but Johan was walking one day, lost his footing and stumbled. He found himself hanging onto the edge of a cliff. Just as his grip started to loosen, and the end seemed inevitable, a small hairy leg and hoof lifted him to safety. Standing nearby was a deer. One crystal tear fell from its eye, and it then vanished. That moment will stay with Johan forever, and he decided then to help in life in whatever way he could.
Dr Poppy Sneezitoff was not given her name at birth. She earned it by working hard as a taxi driver on Spaghetti Junction until the age of twelve. One day a penguin was sitting in the back of her taxi when they took a detour and found themselves deep in a rain forest. The penguin got a bit hot and bothered so Poppy performed a miracle operation and never looked back. Which did cause her to crash into a tree. She now travels fast and low, taking her medical case with her everywhere in case someone ever shouts, “is there a doctor on board?”. Poppy loves a good dance, likes shouting “is there anybody out there?” at the sky, and has a big collection of muscles.
Dr Jamima Jamjuggle used to be in a circus act called “The Jammy Dodgers” who swung from chandeliers whilst juggling flaming pots of jam. Having been pursued by angry, jam soaked, audiences a few too many times, the troupe disbanded and she became the good doctor that you see today. Modelling herself on Dr Doolittle, she likes to talk to animals (who run for the hills) and commune with cuddly toys (who are similarly unimpressed). Dr J.J. to her friends, she wears her visor low to avoid speed cameras and is an honorary toothbrush twirling tutor at The Worthy Institute of Twirling Sciences (TWITS).
Doctor Finlay Fundango hatched from a multicoloured egg many years ago. The egg was found in the Marmite mines under a toast soldier and was thought to be a bowling ball until the good doctor fell out. From an early age he liked mending spaceships and racing snails and so it was natural for him to jump over lazy dogs when he grew up.
Doctor Satsuma B Sprocket was grown from a pip found in an old Christmas stocking satsuma found in a Cumbrian cupboard in the year 19 hundred and something. The “B” stands for Bloomers, but because she doesn’t like to show her knickers in public, she keeps that name secret! She was reared on a diet of biscuits, fables and Kendal Mintcake until she reached the giddy height of a giraffe’s ankle. Feeling as tall as the hills, Dr Satsuma, as she is known to her friends, enjoys keeping her clown-doctoring skills up to date with extensive training in speed-knitting, cartoon- watching, hair-crimping and tiddlywink-twanging, whilst touching her toes at the same time.
Doctor Tammy Teacosy is always brewing silly ideas and keeps them warm under her hat. It’s always tea-time with Tammy who will do just about anything for a custard cream. Tammy studied the ancient and little-known Japanese martial art of Knit-Fu and is author of several esteemed books on the subject including “Ninja Knits”, “Combat Crochet” and “Gosh is it Tea Time already I seem to be in a bit of a Tangle”. She is a qualified biscuit-sitter and once won a prize for her athletic fig rolls.
Having sprung fully-grown from her father’s sporran Doctor Lulu McDoo was passed through the family like chicken pox until she was finally settled with a maiden aunt who gave her the freedom of the porridge drawer. Strangely Doctor McDoo, absorbed by one of her aunt’s haggis impersonations, stepped backwards, falling off Scotland into England where she now walks the corridors, bringing wafts of porridge and haggis to those who need it most.